Posted: 3:06 pm Tuesday, August 21st, 2018
Last nights VMA’s were anything but phenomenal. FIRST OF ALL…WTF was Amber Rose wearing? And why? Like, you’re a mom. Go home & put clothes on. You look like an idiot. We’re not sure why Tiffany Haddish completely forgot how to read, or be funny for that matter, but she could barely get through her opening sequence. It’s pronounced CAMILA CABAY-YO! Between Tiffany & then Madonna butchering her name, poor Camila probably has identity crisis. Let’s talk about Madonna- doing an “Aretha” tribute where she basically spoke about herself the entire time, dressed like Medusa. Pick a look Madonna, we’re tired. And how offensive to have Backstreet Boys perform on a stage the size of my kitchen table? Nicki Minaj brought life back into the performances after being transported in a chopper to Downtown Manhattan where she tore apart her performance of Majesty, Barbie Dreamz, & Fefe, but of course, before that she compared herself to Harriet Tubman, who, if you forgot, helped free slaved from the Underground Railroad before the Civil War. Love you, Nicki, but I think that’s a little too much credit for yourself. Anyway, the Video Vanguard went to Jennifer Lopez for her 20 year career in music with endless amounts of hits. She came out dripping in Versace, which, duh. Slayed a performance, which many are ripping her apart for because she “wasn’t singing live.” Well, that’s because she’s an entertainer. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life heard someone say “Wow. J Lo has the BEST voice in music.” Woman is a hardcore dancer, & I personally would rather see an action packed performance with dancing & a “train” to the Bronx & watch Ja Rule temporarily resurrect his career for 45 seconds, than watch Ariana Grande sing live & roll around on the floor with women dressed like the apostles #JustSaying.. Oh, and go home, Pete Davidson. You look sick & there were too many people there to catch your virus. Then J Lo gave a 28 & a half minute speech, which, cool, we get it. You’re being honored, but we don’t really care about the lady that does your nails, but I have to give it to her.. She kept us intrigued by keeping her words for A Rod til the end. You got us, Jenny. I’m not done. WHO WERE HALF OF THESE PEOPLE? I mean, you have musical legends like Aerosmith, Madonna, & Jennifer Lopez, even Tommy Mottola, in the audience & then these “artists” whose name begins with “Lil” & have more tattoos on the cheek bones than viles of Botox Cher has filled her face with. Speaking of Aerosmoith, the rock legends finished the show performing with Post Malone, whose suit looked like the pills the guys took in the 60’s. Let’s get it together, music. You’re offending everyone who loves you, OK?